Today has just passed by and I’ve been just sort of here and not really focused or anything. I think my body is fighting a cold from forming, but I think this is the second time in the last two weeks, so I’m not sure if I’m going to prevent it. I hope so anyway, but it feels like maybe it is developing in my chest. I’m exhausted and not really taking extra care of myself in all of this. I need to.
I’m having something else going on physically that is concerning me. It’s just a wait and see thing at the moment. I think it is primarily due to the extreme stress I’ve/we’ve been under.
I’m also looking at issues and seeing that I, as Julie, probably have a bigger responsibility and part in things than I’ve realized before. Yes, others inside have their roles and dynamics and effect things, but I’m just as ‘guilty.’ So I guess now is a good time for me to look at it when I won’t have as much internal stuff going on since it is so quiet and empty in a way. I can still sense some insiders still around, but there is this disconnection that exists and things are still just different.