Daily Archive for August 4th, 2007

the marking of badness

all the ickiness
creeps inside,
up and down
in our bodies it goes–
into each cell it explodes
and the pouring of badness

implodes

as we fight inside to
get out of this skin, this body-
to no longer habitat it.

the need so great that
the vomit is so near;
the screams inside;
the piercing pain of shame
over and over–

the badness reigns.

and we can’t get out of this body
for real, for real
unless it dies
but the badness remains
no matter what.

to live is to be bad,
feel bad,
experience badness
inside and out,
flowing within each body cell
up and down the body
creeping and crawling within
screaming inside to get out of this skin
and radiating badness externally
as it follows your every word, touch, movement, remnant of your existence.

to die is to be bad
as they say it is all wrong
by your own hand,
and we are left with more badness
and guilt and shame
for knowing what we do to others
or so they say if we leave
by our own will.

it’s a world of badness for us
as we’ve been taught
it’s a small world of tears and fears.

all we want to do is shed this badness
but to do that is bad
for the shedding will leave its mark
for someone else to be forced to have

no no no no not can be not bad
ifin we do somebody die die die
and get our badness cuz we be bad for not being bad
for not remembering how bad and dirty and icky and yucky and bad bad bad we be
and ifin we not stay bad and get rids of it
then somebody else gonna gets it
and so they gonna have to die
cuz we not be good by being bads ands all the ickys and dirtys and yuckys and ow ow owweee it hurts hurts hurts hurts
we wanna die