hello inside? can someone help?

i don’t know who to really ask even though i kind of know.  i still think there must be some i don’t know about.  i only imagine the purple group ones but then i think there are probably others from other color groups.

i only really know to ask Laura.  and Juile if she is around still.  and Juila.  i don’t think Rita or Shirley do these things.  maybe Susie or Sue or ?  i feel foolish writing here.  we need help from others inside.  we’re supposed to ask for help.  but i’m not sure they can come forward anyway and besides why would they want to?  it’s so depressing right now but then i think and remember that they don’t really feel things too much or at least have more distance from the feelings so why would that really bother them?  maybe it is just us that worry it is because we taint them and would affect and destroy them somehow with our feelings and so they stay away cuz they don’t want to be anywhere close to us or the outside when we are like this.  but i’m not sure that is really why.  one time Billie wrote about them being kind of locked up or something like that by some inside that are really high up in power and energy.  but we never really dealt with that issue and some of us didn’t even know that till Billie wrote it and we saw it.  but if they are locked up, then how come it seems someone/s of them come out sometimes still?  it’s like they aren’t in control of that and sometimes it is ok, but most of the time it isn’t okay.  so why is it that sometimes it is ok? what makes it okay? who lets them out or how do they get out front to help?

i don’t know.  i’m really tired.  we’re really trying hard to fight this depression and such deep sadness.  we need to get things done.  i’m asking for help from those inside that can help.  i already know Billie doesn’t want to as she’s always busy with something inside, but maybe she will.  it’s just she will be pissy about it.  and it isn’t fair to expect so much of her to do everything.

there’s more, but that’s all i can say right now.  maybe later.

julie/s