some of the younger ones inside were writing and saying what they wanted to say and well, it would be the
hurt, hurt, hurt, hurt
sad sad sad sad
bads bads bads bads
—-
we are exhausted. i hope to g-d we can sleep tonight. i think i may take a sleeping pill to attempt to ensure some sleep soon and not at the normal rise and shine hour for everyone else.
we had a good group tonight at our support group. we also shared quite a bit and so bold and upfront. it wasn’t us who are writing now. but definitely one of the adults and we think possibly someone from the purple group talking through Julie. or maybe it was someone from the gray-blue group. we’re not sure who it was, but it was different and definitely not Julie even though group members possibly thought it was, it is just she wouldn’t ordinarily tell all of that stuff quite the way it was said and with such strength and openness and less beating around the bush stuff. it’s hard to explain. something was different, but pretty sure Julie was there or around too.
it was a really hard share for us as a system. i mean in the moment the ones sharing it were fine, even when they were emotional, there was this strength or something that was blocking a lot of the fears and crazy thoughts and fears and messages that end up silencing us or freaking us out for saying anything. that wasn’t upfront when they were sharing. it’s just that we’re still affected by it.