Monthly Archive for January, 2008

How We Be

Sooos somebody asked us how we work and this be what we say now.  The bigger bigs can answer it the way they wanna but we’re here and will say this much.

we are all grouped together in different groups.  no matter what happens, if one person says or does something or thinks something, there is always at least one other person there that agrees or supports that person. this is so the blame and badness never falls on just one of us.  there is always at least 2 people to share it, but lots of times there is a general group agreement but then little differences among the group.  the problem is that all the different groups inside don’t agree with one another and do things differently and always fighting with one another.  then sometimes inside one group, there are differences that cause problems even if there be some agreeing ifin any of us get in trouble or bad or something and we got to help protect each other.

we also hide in group status to outside people. it’s safer that way.  sort of like the group gets blamed or bad or gots the badness if we write bad things or say wrong things or do something bad instead of it just being one person that is bad and in trouble.  so we hide in our group and that’s why too we don’t write names and stuff here and write our group names lots of times. plus we got in super big trouble one time when the body was 5 and that changed lots of things for us to never be telling our name to outside people.  michelle told new kids at new house and place we moved to that she was michelle and that was her name when really the body name is julie and then the kids go to our house and ask the mommy if michelle can play and well that wasn’t so good cuz there is no body name of michelle living there except inside our system and stuff.  that was the first time the kids meet the body and so they not know different and so they think the body name be michelle and not julie.  so ever since then things be very different.

we are also color-coded. all of us identify with at least one color. most of us it is one color, but some have 2 colors.  the function keys don’t have colors that we know of. that is very weird to us. if they do have colors we’re not allowed and special enough to know what color they are.  they think they are all high and mighty and even if that is true it still sucks and stinks they think they are the best and coolest ever inside.  maybe they don’t really got thoughts or feelings cuz they aren’t really like us anyway. only a little but then they aren’t.  they still got all the power and that makes some of us mad sometimes.

we got some co-conscious stuff but lots of time we only got pieces of things and so know how to write and talk and make it seem like we remember stuff when really we don’t really remember it like we think people do who don’t got memory problems like us. but maybe we are wrong and dumb and don’t know stuff.  and sometimes we are co-conscious with some stuff and other times we aren’t. and it depends on who it is outfront and who is around and what’s being said and all that other stuff. it just depends. and lots of time if we are co-conscious in the moment, it all goes away and is forgotten and blank and don’t know when whoever was there goes back inside and when whatever happened or was said is done and over with.  lots of us think there is something that makes all the memory disappear except some stuff and we never know what that is and why that is.  just like the brain just automatically goes and takes all info and puts it away somewhere inside or dumps it or something.  even stuff that ain’t bad and no reason to not remember it but it’s gone minutes later.  sometimes we just know stuff but don’t remember any of it. it’s just a knowing that the body be here and the body do this but that be it.  we can’t tell you anything about it cuz that part is all blank and missing.

but stuff between different groups is not very co-conscious.  maybe some stuff is or maybe little pieces of it is but lots of stuff isn’t. we don’t talk very good to one another lots and i don’t know. we don’t think we’re all that good at this stuff. like lots of stuff is still not shared or not heard or listened to or blocked and not known.  but we are getting better about that. i guess that be what you want to know and we will let somebody else try to tell you that.

us and maybe others and ?

and that just be us guessing lots. like we just sort of listen with our ears and listen with the hearts and what first comes up will tell us who maybe we need to include who was around. it don’t mean they always wrote something. sometimes it does or that they helped write something or influenced what was said or that they were super close around but sometimes it just means they are connected to the stuff we’re talking about or are listening or something.  it don’t always mean we are really talking with them or other stuff.  it’s hard to explain.

to people inside who can help

trying to reach out. please somebody inside, somebodies, please help us. you know what we need you to do.  where are you? why are you gone? when will you be back?

we can’t do this on our own. we need you. please come help us. we’re sorry you always got to do the hard work.  we’ll try to help you. just don’t know how.

we keep hoping and thinking you will come and make things happen and things won’t be as overwhelming and so behind and stressful. but maybe you won’t or can’t.

we are losing our hope, but it’s still there. just don’t know how to keep things from getting worse without your help.

hello? anybody listening? anybody seeing this? please let these next days and weeks be better. we need it. this is our chance for a lot of things.

please fight the programming. we will help keep the ones from getting past and doing stupid things if you do your jobs and fight the programming with us.  we just want all this to stop.  we want it different this time. something about it different. we don’t want another chance wasted and gone from repeating the same old stuff.

When? How? What? Why?

When will things be different?  When will things change? When will we be the same yet different, be different and yet the same?

How can these things be different? How will these things change? How will we be who we are and yet evolve and transform into something better than who and what we are now?  How will we be who we are and grow and self-actualize ourselves to a higher spiritual self-hood? How does one even describe this?

What is it going to take? What are we doing now? What are we not doing? What are we going to do? What will we do? What do we plan to do? What is it that we seek?

Why is it still like this?  Why are things still as they are? Why do we resist the positive and yet languish in it when it does come?  Why do we say we wish for it and yet wall ourselves from it?  Why do we have such rare moments in time of having a glimpse of understanding that maybe this is what living is like?

These and many more questions…