Multiple Reflections

fell asleep in recliner around midnight. mostly b/c we couldn’t make selves go move body to bed. resisted the bed. slept for 2 hours. awoke at 2am. put body to bed. but couldn’t fall back asleep, even though tired. tried to sleep for over an hour, but mind awake, body tossed and turned. gave up and was awake for hours. went to bed around 7am or so. fell asleep, awoke at least once…maybe 2-3 times, but don’t remember what the clock said, and fell back asleep. woke up at 2pm. stressed due to the time and that we said we’d be over at brother’s house to see noah in the late morning. had ocd stuff come up strong and lots of patterning and numbering in order to get out of bed. managed to get up after 20 min of that, which is better than it could have been. remembered in bed pieces of dream. realized we have to write it down even though we need to go see our nephew. but the dream pieces are important too. revealing.

overall the theme was another spiritual battle type dream. evil trying to take over and hurt us and other people with or around us and us trying to fight it with Jesus and G-d and stuff like that with our words we know and other things. in the dream it had some weird stuff in it, but also some revealing stuff to it. we had 3 lives… basically reincarnated, and each time we were in a different situation around people and different life of course too, but our job was to fight the evil and oddly, to help others fight the evil too and know G-d and Jesus and stuff. we say oddly cuz we so do not try converting people or anything religious like that. we fought evil against ourselves and others and helped others to do so each life. it was like our mission in life. and we did it.

a lot of miscellaneous weird stuff that is fuzzy to recall and write about. a few things stand out. at some point, the wizard of oz theme came up…it was very clear to us that’s what it was. although there were only some aspects of it that were part of the dream. a big spiritual battle was done with this. the wizard of oz stuff is not odd to see in dream, but surprising and validating, as we have heard of it being part of inner landscape in some way and having a part in abuse, but not really knowing if it was for real or not. didn’t think of wiz of oz stuff at all last night or recently that we know of consciously so the fact it was in dream makes it all the more validating since it was sub-conscious. and the stuff surrounding the use of it connects the validation.

something about a wall (haha) and how one side is the good area and another side is the evil area. how there are these brick road things that i don’t recall being yellow at all on each side (but the evil side one is fuzzy and not sure it is like that), and how the evil side sort of had this like black hole pit thing that could swallow you up…also kind of like a lake or something. it is very hard to describe, because it was neither of those and yet it was something funky and kind of like that. it is also really fuzzy which makes it hard to be clear what it was. what we do know is that we had to sing songs about Jesus and G-d and also say things to fight the evil away and the stronger we got, the more we could go over to the otherside (the evil side). then we would do a little bit of the same on that side, but a brick pavement at a time in a way. we weren’t alone doing this, but i think the number of people (not a crowd either..so not a lot of ppl) would vary. the evil ones… the ones part of the wiz of oz that were there and some others would glower and try to fight it with their powers, but we kept winning. at some point we were able to touch individual bricks with our hands. we would say something and if we didn’t fall through or the brick didn’t melt away, then what we said was true. so we said the following things:

we were sexually abused - brick responded true

daddy sexually abused us - brick responded true

daddy sexually abused us when age 1-2 - brick responded true

daddy sexually abused us from birth - brick responded true (this is shocking to us and extremely hard to believe and don’t believe in a number of ways, despite the fact that on some level the other brick responses and stuff we’re considering kind of validating in a way since well… it is coming from the subconscious mind since it is a dream)

we were ritually abused - 1st time asked, brick responded halfway… true, but it also sort of sank slightly. in a way we were shocked and felt super bad and stupid and really bad for thinking such a bad thing in a way and now there was proof we are crazy bad. it didn’t sink or melt away totally like it was supposed to so we interpreted it to mean that we were ritually abused, but not as bad as some people, which is what we believe anyway to a large degree. but a few others around saw this and said no, that it was because we touched a brick that the evil ones had already touched (and it hadn’t been touched and changed by those of us walking/running across them while singing and fighting the evil and changing the bricks…and all the other bricks we touched with hand had already been changed). so someone said that b/c of the evil attached to the brick, and then we put hand on the brick to ask question, that the evil caused it to sink somewhat. and it was the good and truth that kept it from sinking and melting all the way.

some more stuff happened that we don’t recall really. then something happened where the daddy showed up in the dream. oh yah, something scary happened. there was some kind of natural disaster or something like that… barely remember what it was. just know that our handwritten journals were getting scattered and the parents were around, even the mother, and they got ahold of our journals and were reading them. we were trying to get them back and were frantic and terrified b/c of what was in them and it was stuff that they would be very angry to read about and say it wasn’t true and stuffs like that. and they did get them and read them. think other ppl around them too that not like what we say and be mad too, but that part is fuzzy. we wanted to be dead and not alive if they ever found them and read them. we knew we were dead if they found them and read them. so don’t remember exactly what happened after they found them. but something did.

then the daddy was around. and people were around and he was denying stuff and we were thinking and saying it was true. we were gonna ask when ppl were around and paying attention but the daddy was being obnoxious and so we put our hands on the brick again and asked the questions. and the bricks answered with true, true, true, etc. and the daddy was getting hurt and less powerful and his badness was showing and he was getting scared cuz he knew what was gonna happen. he was going to get sucked up in the badness and get made to go away and not be around us and not hurt us again.

so we asked all the questions up above and they all answered true. not sure if we asked the one about from birth. don’t recall doing so. but the others we definitely asked. after the ritual abuse one came back positively true (this time it didn’t sink at all), then we asked the next question in a stated format just like the others.

daddy ritually abused us. the answer came back true.

when we say ritual abuse we think of sra, but it is always hard to add the s in there, even though we know by word usage and definition, sra and ra is different, though similar in different ways.

we might have said more/asked more questions, but whatever we did say/ask (if we asked more than the above), it came back true. then it was so strong, it made the daddy get sucked away somewhere near the bricks but not exactly the bricks we were around… but he wasn’t far away at all either… and he got sucked away and he disappeared.

then more stuff happened. and around people and not sure if they didn’t believe or if we felt we had to prove it to them or something. and the daddy wasn’t there no more and so at first we didn’t think we could prove it, but we asked the same question/made statements like explained above and with the daddy ones also, and the bricks responded true. these people knew what a true answer would look like and a false answer would look like. so we proved it to them by doing it again. and the bricks answered true again and then we were believed by them. and think we felt some empowerment too maybe. something like we felt stronger and validated and something hard to put into words… and it is also very vague too. and it also feels stronger and true and validated b/c we asked more than once and the answers all came back strongly true. except for that one question in the beginning, but it was explained and backed up with truth, and it responded strongly true the remaining times it was asked.

more stuff happened that we don’t recall. basically a lot more spiritual battling and trying to keep the evil from getting us and hurting us and fighting it with Jesus and G-d and stuff– the words and things we know to fight the evil with.

towards the end of the dream. something about 2 ships. and needing to rescue 2 girls and a boy. they were kids very sad and being hurt and needed to be rescued. the ships had these areas where they were flat and open and you could jump from one ship to the other easily in these areas if they were close enough. (these ships were huge and livable on and stuff, and so these areas you could jump on were flat and open (unlike the other parts of the ship) and so it was a special area) so sometimes the ships were close enough to safely jump without getting in the water and sometimes they weren’t. we wanted to rescue the kids and they wanted over on our ship, one of the younger girls more so than the 2 was braver. we were conflicted and trying to figure out when and how we were going to save them. so the young girl just jumped in the water in desperation and kind of swam… and we reached out as far as we could and pulled her up out of the water with one hand and got her on the ship. we encouraged the other 2 kids to do the same (even as the ships were getting further away from one another). and they did and we got them rescued. a bunch of stuff happened after that… and the kids went back and forth between the two ships as the adults were battling it out. ultimately we won and got them safe.

not sure what all happened, but we woke up roughly after that. or at least we woke up towards the end of this and the last thing we remember is getting them to safety. that’s a nice way to end a dream and wake up. but the dream/s were still kind of disturbing in some ways. i mean i know there is a lot of good stuff in this dream/these dreams, but it was still quite stressful and we haven’t had a spiritual battle dream so directly like that in awhile (at least not that i recall anyway). it might not have been that long ago, but it still feels like it has been awhile. we used to have them happen a lot and relatively regularly. the more we heal and stuff, the less the spiritual battles happen and the less intense they become. we don’t see the actual demons and stuff and other stuff is different and so when the battle happens, it isn’t nearly as bad as it used to be, but it still sucks and is hard and stressful everytime it happens.