We’re still here, albeit a bit scattered brained and just surviving in general.  We signed our lease and got our keys on February 14th and some furniture has been moved.  We still have packing and a lot of little stuff to move.  We have just over a week to do all of this, along with cleaning both places.  Our new place just isn’t clean in the way we want it to be to start out living in it, although we may just have to deal with it until March.  We’re feeling a bit overwhelmed, and to top it off, we’ve been fighting a cold since Monday night.  The symptoms are there, but we’re in a battle zone with it at the moment.  It sucks and is wearing us down further.

We’re realizing we are doing what we usually do… focusing on one main thing and everything else and people in our life are pretty much put on hold.  It’s hard to put words to it as we’ve seen this before (many times), but haven’t grasped ahold of fully understanding it or something.  Just basically it feels like we can’t handle or manage more than one big thing stressing us out or needing our attention or something.  It sounds stupid coming from a multiple.  And it isn’t exactly how that is inside… because there are those inside thinking and having their attention on other things and wanting time out or something, but it doesn’t happen, or something that I can’t quite figure out into words just yet.  Still trying to really put the pieces of it all together, because it feels like I’m missing so many pieces of information and understanding, and it also feels very important that we get a handle on this, because it does greatly impact our ability to function in life and maintain relationships and other life responsibilities and needs, etc.  It also tends to send us into the spiraling feelings and experience of being overwhelmed and losing coping abilities or managing life in general.

So I’m talking as though “I get it” but I don’t “get it” at all.  That sums up the problem I think; a typical one too.  Good at talking as if, but dumb at walking as if or even knowing how to walk as if or knowing what walking really is in regards to it.

So yah, Julie is here, but not entirely.  Feels like another Julie is here and then it feels like there is no Julie here.  Someone else entirely.  Hell if we can figure it out at the moment.