We’re still here, albeit a bit scattered brained and just surviving in general. We signed our lease and got our keys on February 14th and some furniture has been moved. We still have packing and a lot of little stuff to move. We have just over a week to do all of this, along with cleaning both places. Our new place just isn’t clean in the way we want it to be to start out living in it, although we may just have to deal with it until March. We’re feeling a bit overwhelmed, and to top it off, we’ve been fighting a cold since Monday night. The symptoms are there, but we’re in a battle zone with it at the moment. It sucks and is wearing us down further.
We’re realizing we are doing what we usually do… focusing on one main thing and everything else and people in our life are pretty much put on hold. It’s hard to put words to it as we’ve seen this before (many times), but haven’t grasped ahold of fully understanding it or something. Just basically it feels like we can’t handle or manage more than one big thing stressing us out or needing our attention or something. It sounds stupid coming from a multiple. And it isn’t exactly how that is inside… because there are those inside thinking and having their attention on other things and wanting time out or something, but it doesn’t happen, or something that I can’t quite figure out into words just yet. Still trying to really put the pieces of it all together, because it feels like I’m missing so many pieces of information and understanding, and it also feels very important that we get a handle on this, because it does greatly impact our ability to function in life and maintain relationships and other life responsibilities and needs, etc. It also tends to send us into the spiraling feelings and experience of being overwhelmed and losing coping abilities or managing life in general.
So I’m talking as though “I get it” but I don’t “get it” at all. That sums up the problem I think; a typical one too. Good at talking as if, but dumb at walking as if or even knowing how to walk as if or knowing what walking really is in regards to it.
So yah, Julie is here, but not entirely. Feels like another Julie is here and then it feels like there is no Julie here. Someone else entirely. Hell if we can figure it out at the moment.
You may be a multiple but you are still just one person who can only handle so much. Sometimes it is others that need to realize that we are just one person and can’t be in all places at all times and everything they need us to be at the same time we’re dealing with major issues. I have a habit of pulling back from the net and not making phone calls when stuff is in an uproar and I think my friends might feel neglected. I send little emails and stuff saying I haven’t forgotten them. I’ve sent you those on several occasions cause I hope you understand that I’m overwhelmed with things right now but I’ve certainly not forgotten our friendship and our connection. If the email is all I can offer at that time do you hold it against me? I haven’t felt that way. I think you realize I’m just one person with a very full plate. I think maybe allowing yourself this same understanding might give you a little relief from feeling as if you’re putting friends on the back burner when all you’re really doing is handling what you can on a daily basis.
A move is a big thing and that brings up a lot of emotions in you. It takes money, time and physical energy. It takes follow up and packing and organizing….add in there therapy, survivorship and general life maintenance and girl you’ve got yourself a buffet of stress.
Even during times of high stress and high activity my system sometimes gets neglected. That’s when I call on them to step up and take some responsibility. We’re a team and I need some players to help me through this. Call on your team players.
until again,
Austin
We hope the move is going okay and that you will enjoy your own place. Believe me, we can only do a couple things at a time also. There may be many parts but only 24 hours in day.:)) Plus a move is stressful for us, any change is, and I am sure that impacts you also.
It is nice to see you wanting to have a more balanced life with relationships, etc. That is healthy and good and a sign of real progress. Sometimes making it happen can be a challenge but you are on the right track.
take care,
Melissa