so we’ve been having a hard time in many ways and in other ways, we’re fine. we’ve been hanging on as best as we can without therapy since december 1st–a large part of it is our fault due to lack of follow through but some of it is also just life and the fallout of what happens without therapy… functioning becomes harder and harder and so follow through becomes that much more difficult and scarier, anxiety producing, etc.
every now and then we have the energy to call some therapists to find out their availability, insurance, and if they have any experience treating multiples, but mostly haven’t had any luck. so we pull out our lists and phone book and make some more calls, slowly plugging away at it and then it is put away for weeks at a time. it’s so overwhelming and draining.
things are going great between sean (and all) and us. we’re making some progress towards wedding planning and stuff. so very glad we have almost a year and a half yet to plan.
we’ve been having such a hard time writing and have kept hoping it would change, but it hasn’t really. so i guess we’ll keep hoping and keep striving towards getting back to writing.
today is a rough day for us. there’s some memories? (hard to say aloud and admit to that it might be true and say and act as though it is true) about stuff surrounding this day and some abuse done to some inside. trying to get up the courage to say what it is here.
got to go for now. too anxious and need to go back to bed. we did get up and tried to get a few things done around the house. two small things just doesn’t seem like enough, especially when there is such a long list of things left to do.
julies
hi
just came by to say hi. i saw from twitter that you may have a new T so keeping my fingers crossed. email me and let me know how you are. i hope things get better.
love and hugs always
melissa
hi melissa,
it is so good to see yous.
we’ve been following some/most of your journal and miss being connected to yous like before. we hope it will change when we move our computer over to sean’s house… like somehow that might help or something. i don’t know. we just use an extra one that is sometimes used by his/our roommates and stuff. we’re hoping maybe we’ll start writing soon and that maybe it will be easier when we have our own computer instead of using someone else’s computer.
we see our new T again tomorrow as long as the snow that is falling tonight doesn’t cancel things.
we’re pretty sure she is a good fit for us, but lots of “holding our breath” by some inside and scared to trust after so much time without a therapist we knew we could settle in with long term and do the work we once did with wendy… or at least something similar to it.
but anyway, yeah, still trying to get back to writing. still trying to do lots of things as usual and not doing so well at them or just barely getting by. sometimes doing ok.
we think of you lots just as we do our other friends out there. thanks for stopping by and reaching out. we know we haven’t been good at that with you or others lately.
love ya and definitely hugs to yous,
julies (and all)