Offline and Mini Update

We’re going to be offline for a month and possibly 2 months because we’ll be living full time at our apt in Seattle.  We’ll be going through our many storage unit boxes that we moved into our apt awhile back ago and we’ll also be going through some more boxes and plastic storage containers that we bring back over there.  We’re going to be doing our best to clean out and organize things so that we only bring over to Sean’s house what we really need when we move out of our apt.  At the latest, we’ll be moved out by September 30th, but it may be sooner than that.  We’re just unsure at this time.

Our access to the Internet will be via the library and friends we might visit who don’t mind us borrowing their computer for a little bit while hanging out with them.  For immediate look-up of info, we’ll be calling Sean or another friend if we need some information right away that can’t wait.  But other than that, we’re going to be computer and Internet free for at least a month or more.  Eeks is right.

However, when we fully move out of our apt and return to Sean’s house, we will have full access to our computer whenever we need or want.  This is something we haven’t had since the beginning of the year and so we’re greatly looking forward to this change and hoping that it will be the start of more regular journal writing and updating of old journal posts with tags, categories, as well as importing old journal entries.  We also hope to scan in some handwritten journals and eventually post them here.  Some of it requires courage to do this, but we think we can do it.  We may have to password protect some of it and provide passwords to readers who request it or something.  We’re not quite sure really.  We’ll just have to wait and see where we are with things when the time comes.

Our realtionship(s) with Sean et al is going well.  Therapy with Kathy is going great and we’re extremely greatful she is our therapist.  Stuff is going on as usual and we’re quite stressed out with the many changes, transitions, and transformations we’ve been dealing with the past year and very recently.   I think overall they are positive things, but it still takes a toll on us and we feel like we’re constantly trying to come up for a big breath of air.  We’re still working hard on getting our life to a certain place where things might be a tad bit more manageable, though stressful and hard, but hopefully a bit more sane for us.

We’re so tired right now that I don’t think we are expressing ourselves very well.  We woke up very early after going to bed late and now we’re just trying to keep our eyes open and to think enough to finish this entry.  We have stuff we need to do today and the earlier the better, but we really have to go back to bed.

So anyway, a lot more changes are headed our way.  We’ll be on the floor in our apartment going through boxes and stuff, sorting, recycling, shredding, throwing away, etc. stuff.  In the midst of that, we will probably be grieving and processing a ton of stuff and letting go of things as well.  It’s not just an external process, but an internal one as well.  I’m pretty sure of that, but I could be wrong.  If we don’t do this, we’re just going to fuck up our life and fuck up our future and life with Sean et al and we just can’t do that.  So we’re going to push ourselves through this somehow and maybe finally be steps closer to what we desire our life to be like.  The fear is there though– all this stuff we’ll be going through has kept us from living for so many years but it has also kept us alive.  Not having it and having what we do have organized and orderly is what we desire and what we had growing up, but it is a big change since the flashbacks and since therapy began and the unravelling began so many years ago.  In its own strange way it has helped keep our system alive.  There’s just so much behind it.

We need to sleep though.

Until Later,

Julies (and all)