Archive for the 'System Communication' Category

Listen Up JAGA Harmony

Published
by
JAGA
on November 21, 2007
in Anonymous, System Communication, System Issues and System Wars
. 4 Comments

WE NEED RULES

OUR RULES, NOT THEIRS

Do you got that? Huh? Do you get it? FINALLY? Yah Right. I don’t fucking believe you.  Stop fucking waiting around until they are finally written down and plastered somewhere for all to see around here.  Until it is finally all agreed upon.  Screw that.  Get a grip.  Get a clue.  Get a life.  I hate you.  I hate the way things are going.

Things have got to stop.  Things have got to change.  What a waste.  A total waste of pathetic life.  Where’s the movement?  I mean the movement FORWARD. 

So who’s going to work together?  Who REALLY agrees? Not some lip service with an ass wipe to it. 

I don’t fucking want to hear it.  Here it goes.  The whole dying thing.  I want to die. Wah wah wah. Cry all you want.  I’m so sick of it.  I’m so sick of having to spend all my energy trying not to get sucked up in your whirlpool chaos and crap and crying and dying shit.  Just stop it already for once.

And don’t fucking tell me to shut up either.  I hear you all the time.  Nobody listens to me.

I mean it.  And stop attacking me.  Leave me alone dammit.  I fucking hate you Keeper.  Your little cronies and gang sure to take me and my friends off and away from the front and from others.  I’m tired of being locked away and fucking fighting my ass off.  

I mean how dare things change for the positive.  I mean we couldn’t have that, now can we?  Oh wait, that’s right, it’s against their rules unless we’re with them and like them.  It’s that or be fucking crazy and stupid or dead.

G-d.  Do you have to do that? Do you have to start making me feel physically ill? Head slightly dizzy inside, nauseous, heart trembling, and these other weird physical sensations suddenly.  Dammit.  And now add the chills, the goosebumps from nowhere.  I fucking hate this. 

Just break it.  Break that bond. Break that chain.  Break that fucking programming.  Fucking please. 

This is fucking insane.  This isn’t what I thought would be happening.  We have the time to heal.  We have the time to get a life.  We have the time to figure out shit.  To get things done the way everyone in here wants them. So fucking do it.  Don’t waste it. I’m sick of this.

It’s about everyone getting a chance to have time to work on what is important to them.  A little bit every day or every week will go a shit long way in going forward and fucking functioning instead of fucking fighting and so much energy trying to survive and words that just aren’t there to explain how things are and the way they work.  

And if these ideas don’t work, I don’t fucking know what to do.

Oh what’s that?  You’re peeking around checking me out?  Don’t know who I am? Ha.  Like I’d tell you.  Didn’t know I existed? Of course fucking not.  Why do you think we have The Keys.  The Functions.  They do know their jobs well.  

So yah,whatever, don’t start your whole denying me and denying my existance crap.  It’s so predictable.  You never knew about me before and can’t believe that someone like me exists and GASP is writing here and talking and being.  OMFG, it can’t be true. “I can’t be real.”  That’s just so lame.  What?  You believe in some of the others, but not me?  I mean someone like me just couldn’t appear suddenly, now could they?  We can’t have someone so fucking different and saying shit ya don’t want to hear or deal with and is real.

Or better yet– the bigger deal.  Someone who fucking wants a life for reals.  Someone who wants more than what exists now in this life.  

Ahh damn, I’m outta here.  I’m fading fast.  So much for that awareness and talking.  Whatever.  I’m here and I’m going to keep fighting them.  And I’m not alone.  We grow stronger as time goes on.  

And the battle continues…

hello inside? can someone help?

Published
by
JAGA
on September 17, 2007
in System Communication and julie/s (lc)
. 1 Comment

i don’t know who to really ask even though i kind of know.  i still think there must be some i don’t know about.  i only imagine the purple group ones but then i think there are probably others from other color groups.

i only really know to ask Laura.  and Juile if she is around still.  and Juila.  i don’t think Rita or Shirley do these things.  maybe Susie or Sue or ?  i feel foolish writing here.  we need help from others inside.  we’re supposed to ask for help.  but i’m not sure they can come forward anyway and besides why would they want to?  it’s so depressing right now but then i think and remember that they don’t really feel things too much or at least have more distance from the feelings so why would that really bother them?  maybe it is just us that worry it is because we taint them and would affect and destroy them somehow with our feelings and so they stay away cuz they don’t want to be anywhere close to us or the outside when we are like this.  but i’m not sure that is really why.  one time Billie wrote about them being kind of locked up or something like that by some inside that are really high up in power and energy.  but we never really dealt with that issue and some of us didn’t even know that till Billie wrote it and we saw it.  but if they are locked up, then how come it seems someone/s of them come out sometimes still?  it’s like they aren’t in control of that and sometimes it is ok, but most of the time it isn’t okay.  so why is it that sometimes it is ok? what makes it okay? who lets them out or how do they get out front to help?

i don’t know.  i’m really tired.  we’re really trying hard to fight this depression and such deep sadness.  we need to get things done.  i’m asking for help from those inside that can help.  i already know Billie doesn’t want to as she’s always busy with something inside, but maybe she will.  it’s just she will be pissy about it.  and it isn’t fair to expect so much of her to do everything.

there’s more, but that’s all i can say right now.  maybe later.

julie/s