Venturing Another Direction

So do we, do we dare reveal such intricacies of ourselves while it is seemingly simple?  Do we dare divulge more of who we are than just a conglomerate gathering of individuals disguised as “one?”  Oh the dangers of it all and yet the freedom in doing so.  Such a simple decision and yet the complexities involved and ramifications that it brings or could bring to us as individuals and as a system.

It’s been determined with reasonable conclusion that the event with Michelle at the body’s age of 5 1/2 created a system-wide change that stands to this day.  It explains how we default to the group name, Julies, as enough revelation of the hidden inner workings that secrete themselves all in the name of Julie.

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Scarcity Amongst Enormity

I feel like I need to write something and yet my words are scarce at the moment. Yet, it isn’t the deeper truth. There’s so much building within and whenever I am given a moment of connection with it, I hold my breath because I know how bad it is. The suicidal stuff rushes in like a stormy crashing wave. Then I end up feeling so very much on edge, wondering how long this will last and if it will pass without ever surfacing.

It’s so hard to find words for what is going on. It feels like things are whirling around me and inside me.

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System Snapshot

In many ways we’ve just been waiting until we see Cec this week to deal with system issues. Something is different, and I am fairly concerned. I haven’t heard from L.J. since the birthday on the 13th, although tonight I was talking with a friend and I thought I sensed her just a tad closer from laughing at something she thought was funny. But it isn’t the same at all. L.J. was so very far away still. This is utterly unlike her in every way; she just always is very close to the front and nearby, and she isn’t right now. I miss her.

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