I read Noah a few books last night at bedtime–and my heart has been filled ever since. It’s been awhile since I’ve read him a book and it just warmed my heart to do so again. I’m so glad he let me do that. 
Hunter wanted his mom to read him his books and so it all worked out. I did offer to read him a book or two, but he was ready for his mom to tuck him into bed, which is understandable.
Last night I showed up at Bryan’s house a little bit after 10 P.M. The boys were still awake (of course) and Bryan was practically asleep on the couch and the boys seemed to be watching T.V. They asked if I would play XBox with them and hoped that Bryan would play too so that we could be on teams. I hesitated and paused and finally said, yes, but only for a little bit, because it was late and I didn’t want to participate in fully keeping them up when I thought they needed to be in bed. It was one of those things where I knew if I said no, they would be up anyway and would play the game anyway, and Bryan was half asleep and half awake and he would have likely balked (especially if the kids balked) at me suggesting and encouraging or telling and putting them to bed. So I tried to find a happy medium and keep it to a short time limit. Bryan opted to not play and so I played with the boys for a little bit–between 30-45 minutes. I let them know about midway through that they had 20 minutes left and then it was bedtime and Noah asked about watching TV for the last 10 minutes of it. I said okay but checked to see what Hunter thought about that and he wanted to keep playing and so I said they could either compromise and work it out together or we’d flip a coin. They opted to flip a coin… and it ended up in Noah’s favor. So they did stop playing when a round of the xbox game ended and when they started watching TV, I warned them that they would have to stop in the middle of a show and Noah said he knew. I was so pleased with Noah when he surprised me by taking up the responsibility of turning the t.v. off (before I said anything) when the time was up. I was so shocked… it is something I have been working on with Noah (for him to pay attention to the time limits he is given with things and then make the appropriate choice). [I've actually specifically talked with him about it like that (including using the responsibility word) in the past] And I just wasn’t even thinking or expecting him to take full responsibility like that last night (just spaced what I was working on with him)… I expected to give him a last minute warning of x number of minutes and then let him know when the time was up. Since there was so few minutes left to watch T.V., I ended up spacing the last minute warning, and then when the time had come up and I was just realizing the time had arrived, Noah beat me to it and just turned off the t.v. on his own. I was so proud of him for paying attention to the time and resisting watching t.v. further. Hunter just sort of went along with everything quietly… probably because he was beyond tired.
There’s this funny joke that Hunter wants to stay up as late as Noah stays up… but since Bryan doesn’t know how to give children bedtimes, this can be very late into the night…after midnight is not an unusual occurrence. This drives me nuts, but I’m in the awkward position of Aunt and so I only have so much say-so in this matter, but believe me, Bryan has heard my opinion about it. Anyway, Hunter will sometimes say to Noah, “Let’s go to bed, it’s really late,” or something along that lines when Hunter is falling asleep, but doesn’t want to miss anything or go to bed before Noah does. I don’t remember what it is that Hunter says to Noah… this happens when I’m not around, but however it is that Hunter does it and says it exactly, it’s pretty cute. And sad in a lot of ways to me too, because I wish my brother would be responsible in this area, and it is just an area that I swear my brother has major past issues with and hence, he goes the complete opposite direction and it ends up being unhealthy and just not a good parenting decision. I know Sarah agrees with me, but I think she ends up feeling like it is hopeless, because even if Bryan will say ‘yeah, the kids need to go to bed earlier and have a bedtime,’ Bryan will turn around in the moment and ask Noah if he is ready for bed or some other thing where he reacts to the kids wanting to stay up and he won’t say no to them about bedtime. Arrgghhh… it’s a really sore point for me because I think that consistency and bedtime is so important for the kids and the adults to have some time to themselves afterwards, etc.
Anyway, I’m rather pleased with the kids and find it interesting too just how easy it was for them to agree to go to bed. I think it is because they know that I mean what I say…or something along that lines. I told them that they had a big day the next day (birthday party and stuff), that it was late, and that I heard they had been up late the night before but had gotten up early, and anyway, they just sort of agreed with me. I was having this casual conversation with them…talking to them casually but behind it, I meant business at the same time too. It sort of reinforced my belief that kids really do want a bedtime (even if they say otherwise) and they really want someone to take care of them and for there to be boundaries and rules on certain things. I just couldn’t believe how easy it was to have them go along with my direction. It also reinforces my belief that if you respect kids, they will respect you back. There was no yelling, no bitchiness, no rude or mean tones, no anger, no nothing other than this is really in your best interest and this is how it is even though I know you don’t really like it all that much at the moment. And thankfully Bryan had fallen asleep and everything was falling into place with the book reading, and Hunter with his mom, etc., and so by the time Bryan realized what was happening, he didn’t say anything or bring up the idea of Noah watching t.v. for several hours before bedtime.
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