It’s weird to see the date of my last post and to be finally writing something again.  I didn’t realize it has been basically a week.  I think of this as the night of August 13th and not so much the 14th.  I’m so fatigued these days in writing.  I’ve so much to write about too.  I’m trying to tell myself to just not think about all that we need to write about and to just write a little bit about something at a time, when we can, as otherwise we get so overwhelmed and exhausted in just thinking about it.

I want to say quickly, before I forget, that I did have brief flashbacks of the dream I had last night (night of the 12th, early morning the 13th).  One of the things that I recall is me in adult form completely screwed up in the head and externally with those people around me.  I mean really overtly in behavior.  One scene that keeps repeating itself in my head is me curled up on the floor, unable to move, and there are a few other people around (not system members), and I know they are talking about me or aware of me and I’m so “out of it.”  They also seem very accustomed or used to me being overtly so screwed up and not masking things anymore.  So in the dream, I think I’m both alternating between being in my body in the dream and being outside my body observing it.

Continue reading ‘a “please help me” dream’