unedited writings from someone inside, their way of speaking and telling and communicating
–the ones inside who speak and write like this often do not use any punctuation, so it is missing
–an edited version will be added later
if i could
i would tell it again
if only to show
you can do it
again
again
the night draws near
hanging with it
the lights of night
crosses under
the land of fright
don’t worry
i won’t tell
a soul
for the soul i bear
is dead once more
don’t take me away
for i’ve gone away
on my own
but you know that,
now that you own
me
oh that flattened me
for you know it is a
we
of a family
oh that we are
inside
and out
but shame the inside
and flood the out
with smiles and masks
for we are all in this
together
we dance left right left
and sing chants for
natas
and the silence
begets silence
for the silence
stops the silent
fingers telling
and never oh never
shall the silence
whisper a sound
but silence
and nothing oh nothing
will be told
past natas
you know me by “if i could”
We had another dream theme where it was evil versus good and it involved S-tan and Jesus and using Jesus and G-d to fight S-tan and evil d-mons and stuff. This is one of our typical dream themes, but it doesn’t happen all the time, and so we wanted to document that we had another one of these types of dreams.
It involved children, adults, many types of animals, inanimate objects, water, house or building levels, trickery, tongues and colors and types of teeth, and a little bit of magick, as well as pills of some kind. For the most part the evil was winning the fight, but at the very end, we discovered that under certain conditions we could take a pill after something happened and reverse the effects of the evil and if we did it quietly and carefully we could get enough good ones converted back to good and really use the power of all of us to fight and win, with G-d and Jesus’s help of course. We had to do it very quietly and carefully and pretend to be “evil” and “converted to evil” but really deep down we are good and fighting and trying to win the battle and not let them win completely.
We also remember that Jesus showed up in the dream unexpectedly–we can remember seeing him to some degree… his clothing and a little bit of his face, but mostly just remember the knowledge that he appeared. We remember that it was a surprise and big thing and much needed in the dream, but we can’t remember the situation before, during, or after he appeared. We’re afraid it was a trick, but pretty sure that this time it wasn’t a trick Jesus but the real Jesus.
We woke up before any real resolution one way or the other, but at least we woke up where hope was returning in the dream after we discovered that under certain conditions if we took these pills, that we could erase the bad and evil and return to good and at the same time, hide the good and pretend to be evil around the evil people while trying to spread the good and win the battle.
Us and Julies
fell asleep in recliner around midnight. mostly b/c we couldn’t make selves go move body to bed. resisted the bed. slept for 2 hours. awoke at 2am. put body to bed. but couldn’t fall back asleep, even though tired. tried to sleep for over an hour, but mind awake, body tossed and turned. gave up and was awake for hours. went to bed around 7am or so. fell asleep, awoke at least once…maybe 2-3 times, but don’t remember what the clock said, and fell back asleep. woke up at 2pm. stressed due to the time and that we said we’d be over at brother’s house to see noah in the late morning. had ocd stuff come up strong and lots of patterning and numbering in order to get out of bed. managed to get up after 20 min of that, which is better than it could have been. remembered in bed pieces of dream. realized we have to write it down even though we need to go see our nephew. but the dream pieces are important too. revealing.
overall the theme was another spiritual battle type dream. evil trying to take over and hurt us and other people with or around us and us trying to fight it with Jesus and G-d and stuff like that with our words we know and other things. in the dream it had some weird stuff in it, but also some revealing stuff to it. we had 3 lives… basically reincarnated, and each time we were in a different situation around people and different life of course too, but our job was to fight the evil and oddly, to help others fight the evil too and know G-d and Jesus and stuff. we say oddly cuz we so do not try converting people or anything religious like that. we fought evil against ourselves and others and helped others to do so each life. it was like our mission in life. and we did it.
a lot of miscellaneous weird stuff that is fuzzy to recall and write about. a few things stand out. at some point, the wizard of oz theme came up…it was very clear to us that’s what it was. although there were only some aspects of it that were part of the dream. a big spiritual battle was done with this. the wizard of oz stuff is not odd to see in dream, but surprising and validating, as we have heard of it being part of inner landscape in some way and having a part in abuse, but not really knowing if it was for real or not. didn’t think of wiz of oz stuff at all last night or recently that we know of consciously so the fact it was in dream makes it all the more validating since it was sub-conscious. and the stuff surrounding the use of it connects the validation.
something about a wall (haha) and how one side is the good area and another side is the evil area. how there are these brick road things that i don’t recall being yellow at all on each side (but the evil side one is fuzzy and not sure it is like that), and how the evil side sort of had this like black hole pit thing that could swallow you up…also kind of like a lake or something. it is very hard to describe, because it was neither of those and yet it was something funky and kind of like that. it is also really fuzzy which makes it hard to be clear what it was. what we do know is that we had to sing songs about Jesus and G-d and also say things to fight the evil away and the stronger we got, the more we could go over to the otherside (the evil side). then we would do a little bit of the same on that side, but a brick pavement at a time in a way. we weren’t alone doing this, but i think the number of people (not a crowd either..so not a lot of ppl) would vary. the evil ones… the ones part of the wiz of oz that were there and some others would glower and try to fight it with their powers, but we kept winning. at some point we were able to touch individual bricks with our hands. we would say something and if we didn’t fall through or the brick didn’t melt away, then what we said was true. so we said the following things:
Continue reading ‘dream/s last night- battles, abuse validation, rescue’
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